Breathe

What’s On My Mind

It’s been almost three weeks since I shared a test post. When I pressed send on my “testing” email I thought to myself “Thursday is a good day to post, I’m going to try a weekly Thursday cadence”. Though, all too aware of my perfectionist tendencies, I also thought “there’s some wiggle room in there”. I’m trying to build a consistent practice: to set myself up for success, the bar has to be much more flexible.

Yet here we are, almost three weeks later. It’s not for lacking of trying. Rather, the opposite. I’ve been meddling with a draft this entire time. Back and forth, oh, there goes another Thursday. Okay, who gives a f about the day, just share something. Ugh, it’s not right. Change a line here, a paragraph there.

It wasn’t until today that I was reading a piece I came across that I felt struck by lightening. You can read it here, it’s different. It’s not like the writing was revolutionary, it was that it made me feel something. This paragraph in particular.

That was the bolt, or rather, the jolt. My favourite kind of writing is the writing that makes you feel. Whether that’s by putting yourself in the writer’s shoes or having a chord of your own struck by the words on the page. It’s quite simple really.

In that moment, the feedback I got on my “new” first post made sense. A dear friend Rob asked me a babble of questions…

The reason I’ve been stuck is because I’ve spent the last three weeks trying to write for you. For an audience. Conflicted by a sentence here or a question there because so-and-so said this about my work and so-and-so said that.

I write best when I write freely, when I share what’s on my mind in the given moment. Not a series of curations but an at-whim creation. A flurry of words. Tim told me “I can tell the blank page provides you comfort and clarity in the same way it always has for me.”

As per, the answers were already here. I didn’t need to go rediscover my style or carefully craft a new structure to hang this on. I just needed to listen to myself.

So yes, from time to time there will be insights and such to share here, but more often, there will be a story. The story of what’s currently on my mind. Because I need to write. For me.

What I’m Asking

My first book was a collection of letters I wrote to myself. I had no intention of sharing them but I did for a reason. I called the book “What Do I Know?”. It was the only title that felt fitting. It felt so fitting because the book was a conversation with myself over three years, one in which I asked myself constant questions. I love questions. I love thoughts, fully or half formed. My intention here is to pose a couple of questions, mostly to make you think. But I would love if you felt so inclined as to share your answers or thoughts. Take this as an opportunity to sit with yourself and/or someone else.

What’s on your mind?

Is writing part of your regular life or something you do every once in a while?

Do you wish you wrote more or less? In what setting?

Is there something you do that makes you feel most alive or present?

If you had to integrate a daily practice in your life for 365 days, what would you choose? Why?

What I’m Enjoying

I never regret having Paige whispering in my ears. Her style of interviewing is direct and earnest. Makes for great listening. This is one of her more recent episodes. If you’ve lived in Austin, I would love to hear what you think.

Last night I made these meatballs by Myles Snider for the second time. As someone (don’t kill me) who’s never been a meatball fan, they are delicious and the broth is a reminder of how much I love cooking everything from scratch. Just like working out, it’s always worth it.

Finally, this might sound silly, but walking. I’ve been intentionally spending more time outside and increasing my daily movement beyond planned exercise. Time to think, listen, chat. When you make an effort to notice your surroundings and lean in to what feels good, you end up knowing that something is off and starting your writing from scratch lol. Including this what I’m enjoying section. I’ll save the curated list for another day.

Thanks for being here. Jessica